We are only human. We have routines and goals. Everything that makes us need other people. We have many relationships towards people and it is not a secret that most of those relationships are made based on motives for personal purposes. Maybe for job promotion, for popularity, for marriage purpose, or even for fun.
It’s not a bad thing 🙂 People need us, we need them. That’s what we call symbiotic mutualism in Biology class. Our friends need us to get what they need (no matter what that is) and so do we. It’s just impossible for a person to keep maintaining a relationship from going when they think it is useless. I keep my friends on facebook and real life because their fun, their intelligence, their kindness, their unique ways on seeing life, sharing similarities in hobbies, and more. I feel that most of them bring out the best of me. Giving me another point of views towards everything, or even the simplest one : a smile when I’m lonely.
As a muslim, there is higher level of relationship, it is loving someone above worldly reasons and motives. The centric characteristics are compassion, selfless emphaty, and sincerity. We used to call it ‘love for Allah’, this is the love we are feeling towards others because their religious life and/or because they’re busy in serving Muslims and Islam, or because loving them is commanded by Allah; such as loving our parents.
“For those who love one another for the sake of My Glory, there will be seats of light (on the Day of Standing), and they will be envied by the Prophets and Martyrs”. [Al-Tirmidhi]
Even when we as muslims know this, many times we still stumble on relationships that bring out the worst of us. Preventing us from our goals as to be better muslim day by day. It is bad enough for distracting us from the true goal which is a pious life, but trying to drag us to another direction? Think again. Are those kind of friends for keepers? Are they worth it?
Once the Prophet was asked, “What person can be the best friend?” “He who helps you remember Allah, and reminds you when you forget Him,” he counselled.
The Prophet was further asked, “Who is the best among people?” He replied, “He who, when you look at him, you remember God”.
The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one (iron-smith) blowing bellows, and the owner of musk would either offer you free of charge or you would buy it from him or you would smell its pleasant odour, and so far as one who blows the bellows is concerned, he would either burn your clothes or you shall have to smell its repugnant smell [Sahih Muslim 6361]
I’m not recommending to leave all of our friends. No, no at all. I mean, not drasticly. I suggest that we try to make improvements first, by helping and reminding each other (in a polite manner) of the actions you both need to change. But when it doesn’t work?
The Prophet told his close companion: “By Allah! Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better than it!”
Face it, if loving anything or anyone makes you love Allah less, you must leave them. Allah will provide us with better friends who will be our support, not an obstacle, in leading a better life in Islam.
And keep yourself patiently with those who call on their Lord (i.e. your companions who remember their Lord with glorification, praising in prayers, etc., and other righteous deeds, etc.) morning and afternoon, seeking His Face, and let not your eyes overlook them, desiring the pomp and glitter of the life of the world.. [QS Al Kahf (18 ) : 28 )
It is hard, but we are talking about Allah subhana wa taala. More precious than everything else in this whole universe.
“Allah shall ask on the Day of Judgment; ‘ Where are those who loved for the sake of my greatness? Today when there is no shade, I shall have them in my shade.'” [Sahih Muslim]
May Allah subhana wa taala makes it easier for us.. Amin..