Thank You For Loving Me

I am an Indonesian. As many of you may know that in our country, putting pictures in places like social network is not a strange thing. I heard this is also like in Malaysia. So, yes, there will be no fathers or mothers will be hysterical when they saw their daughter’s facebook. And before, I didn’t even know that in some countries this is a very big deal.

This happens months ago when I started blogging. Some people are very rude and attacking me with horrible words when they ‘accidentally’ visit my blog. This is one of the reason I always moderate comments. Some people curse me to go into jahannam for my pictures and since I do believe that jahannam exists, I can’t deny that it bugs me. Some ladies, putting their thoughts and going really vocal about this, saying I have no hayaa’ (shyness) and put me into munafikin category. No offense, but the so called ‘sisters’ that attacked me also are bloggers and I read what they wrote. Rambling about how bad their husbands and how they hate the co-wives really explain how they are, no matter how dark their abayas are and how thick their niqabs are. For me, seeing a muslimah rambling about how bad their husbands are in a blog where everybody can see, is just disgusting! So, yeah, I didn’t care. I ignore them as they also blocked me away from their blogs. I told them you can’t talk like that about your family (yes, your co-wives are your family as well) because for me, hayaa’ means controlling your behavior in public. You can’t do whatever you pleased under that cloth just because people will not know who you are. Well, so then it stopped because I no longer respond. I don’t even bother to read anything they left on my comments again, I just deleted them.

So, few days ago, there comes a sister who was very nicely suggesting me to take off all my pictures from my blog, in a reason to protect myself. I asked her, to protect me from what, and then she is going to send me hadith and everything to my mail. In my mind, here you go again, another niqabi attack.  But, I couldn’t  offendedly respond inside because she is too nice, I was not offended at all, alhamdulillah. And the conversation is actually on here, you can see how she suggested me and also visit her blog. And somebody read it and left me a comment that he wished not to be published. And for a few days, I am involved in FB conversation with him. I will write some of the conversation here (I edited it, you don’t have to read all his compliments at me :D, and some points of the mail is very short ), because I think I have to tell everyone, too, why now I agree to take off my pictures from this blog. B is the man, R is me.

B : I do believe that men can be attracted to women by the face alone. And some people is very bad, they can use your pictures for bad things.
R : I also believe that woman can be attracted to man by face alone. And I never heard of some hijabis got into problems for putting their pictures on blogs or facebook.
B : I didn’t say in facebook, you can adjust the picture setting from your FB. Your blog is for everyone to see. I found your blog from google. And maybe not in your country, but in some other countries, it is a problem and you can get into trouble.Your blog is accessible on those countries and this is not only about culture, but protection so when people hacked your blog, they will not know how you look.
R : Why would anyone hack my blog? It sounds impossible.
B : Because your blog is about Islam. Although you probably didn’t mean it in the first place, your blog is about propagation to Islam. And trust me, maybe you don’t find it in your country, but haters are everywhere and they can be so mean to hijabis. It is a very dangerous world out there, sister.
R : I never treat people badly, I seriously believe that people will hurt me if I hurt them.
B : So, if your house is robbed by someone you don’t know, is that mean you are a bad person? No, that means you need to add protection to your house.
R : You’re right.
B : I remind you only because you are my sister in Islam… (bla.. bla.. bla… the point is, this man loves me for the sake of Allah and not at all he was trying to offend me)

The reason why I copied some of the conversation here is, I am suggesting my muslimah blogger buddies to do the same. We are smart and pretty, people can see it from our thoughts and the way we deliver them publicly, no need for pictures to confirm it. This man is right, I don’t know him but he is right. Blog is for everyone to see, so we might want to be careful. And as I think again, the people who told me about this before are actually suggesting me to do the same thing in a different way. They were so rude so I didn’t get the message. They need to read the books. SubhanAllah people, read the books!!

Well, I know some people are just haters, but as Paulo Coelho said, haters are your admirers who don’t really know how to express their love. Hahahay!! 😀 So for those of you who sincerely wanted to protect me from bad things, jazakallahu khair for everything. I truly appreciate it. I am grateful that I didn’t curse them back, I will so very regret it right now if I did 😀

If we give enough chance to people to explain their disagreement, we will see that they are actually have the same opinion with us. For most of the disagreements in the world come from different point of view to see the exact same thing. So, please, respect people and have patience even in disagreements. That’s maturity. [Mario Teguh]

  1. #1 by rialive on April 11, 2011 - 7:49 am

    @ sister Pia
    Jazakillahi khair, sis.. Love you too!!

    @ sister Asma Khan
    falling in love is not a bad thing, so i dont mind LOL you are so welcomed to fall in love with me, sister Asma 😀

    @ Miki
    we’re thru with this on FB 😀

    @ Little Auntie
    yah, I am so agree. Not everybody who visited my blog are my friends or ‘like’ me. I don’t have to show my face 😀 I do think it is allowed, though. I just don’t think it is wise to do in blogs.

    @ sister Zahra
    Wa alaikum salam sister Zahra baby
    Actually I’m still feeling a little weird knowing that in this blog I don’t put my complete name and my picture. Feels like this I lost a little attachment. But I think this is normal because I have not used to it. It is a little scary looking at my cluster maps and imagining that people out there that i don’t know probably look at my hijab and curse me. *goosebumps*
    Make dua for me, sister Zahra. I so love you, and jazakillah khair for your support.

    @ sister Blue Pearl
    Jazakillah khair, sweety.. HUGS!

    @ sister Halima

    Awww your husband is sweet. I’m sure he’s proud to marry you, darling. May Allah bless you and your family with everything good in this world and after.
    And the cursing blogger, if you only know how they react when I told them not to write horrible stuff, hmmm.. and they blocked me. I no longer allowed to visit their blog. I wish they don’t do that, so I can leave them a message that I now taking off all my pics from my blogs as they suggested 😀

    @ Forey

    Just click the page, thank you so very much 🙂

  2. #2 by Forey on April 11, 2011 - 7:14 am

    trying to find you on facebook, whats your profile?

  3. #3 by Halima on April 10, 2011 - 2:21 am

    I agree with you completely, Sis! I’ve had similar experiences, myself in the past. My personal policy is that I NEVER put a picture of myself on the internet EVER. My husband wanted to post our nikah photos on his Facebook and I refused- he didn’t see the harm in it, and I know he was just proud to be married to me- awwww!- but I explained to him my reasons and he agreed not to post them.
    I know what you mean about muslima blogs where they talk about husbands, co-wives, etc- it disgusts me as well. People come to think of the internet as “anonymous” and they think they can hide behind it while exposing all their intimate details. They are deluding themselves! They say things they would never say in public , in person or to someone’s face. You’re right, Sis- hayaa is going out the window! Some things are “covered with the covering of Allah SWT”, and what He has covered is a mercy, and we shouldn’t uncover it.

  4. #4 by bluepearl on April 9, 2011 - 11:05 pm

    Aw sweetie, great post with relevant points!

  5. #5 by Zahra on April 9, 2011 - 8:37 pm

    Salam..Ria, that was exactly why I don’t publish my photos on the net, whether on fb or blog, I just can’t put a right words to explain to you before (Remember our message on fb?) and I believe people has their own principle, and different situation, so they might don’t feel it would harm them if they put their pictures on net. So, I’m ok as long as the sister covered themselves properly. But for me, if I put my pics and then guys look at my face (I mean stare at my pics) and then give a comment, blah3..even I don’t know, how they look at my pic, but I feel the same way as they’re in front of me and stare at my face, then gimme a comment..uh!! noooo.. ~_~, lol am such a good imaginary girl ha? hey Ria, you have a sharp mind, of course if you did something you will think whether it’s good or not for you and for our deen inshaallah. It’s all up to you babe! xoxoxo 🙂

  6. #6 by Little Auntie on April 9, 2011 - 6:04 pm

    Ma’shaAllah, that was a nice post. I think what so many people forget is that it’s not what you say, it’s HOW you say it. There’s some quote that says when you advise someone, dip your arrows into honey (or something to that extent).

  7. #7 by Michael Anggodo on April 9, 2011 - 6:01 pm

    I don’t like that man.

  8. #8 by Asma Khan on April 9, 2011 - 4:54 pm

    No pic coz I don’t want U to fall in love with me… 😉

  9. #9 by pia on April 9, 2011 - 4:22 pm

    good job..sis! Keep it up! I love you too for the sake of Allah!

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