Debating

Salam alaikum, sister Ria.

I am surprised to know that you didn’t attack the person who cursed you to jahannam back! Don’t you feel angry?! I don’t know how you do that. I really love debating and sometimes I couldn’t help it, it is so easy for me to say bad words while having an intense debate.

~FH~

Wa alaikum salam, sister FH

I know, I am so surprise, too. But I didn’t regret for not being angry, expressing anger makes you tired, don’t you think? 😀

But to tell you the truth, I used to love debating out of my lungs. I used to have this reason : “Well, debating is not a huge sin”. 😀 But at the end, I always regret doing it and I always end up hating myself. I hate hating myself. 😥

So I made a promise:
1. I will not debate a person who is clearly have more knowledge than me and clearly have proven themselves in reality because it will keep me from learning their knowledge that I might get benefit from. 😀
2. I will not debate a person who is clearly have no knowledge but very confident, because it will make them happy to express their useless thoughts over and over again. 😀
3. I will not debate rude people with more or less knowledge than me. Because rude people is like a trash can, doesn’t matter if it’s empty or full, it is still a trash can. 😀

And of course, we feel angry. I get angry easily. But I promise that I will never again use my anger to humiliate myself. Nope, never again. So when you feel so angry, sister FH, don’t say anything, just hold your tounge and zip your mouth. 😀 After you calm down, by taking wudu’, pray, dhikr, etc, deliver your thoughts with patience. If they can’t accept, just leave them.

And please always remember this hadith,
On the authority of Abu Umamah, may Allah be pleased with him, who narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for he who leaves arguing even if he is right; and a house in the middle of Paradise for he who leaves lying even when joking; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for he who makes his character excellent.” [Abu Dawud]

As my old posts said, Paradise is a confirmation that Allah subhana wa taala loves us. And I also made a promise that I will do everything to get and worthy of that confirmation. It is very hard, sister FH, I admit it. But I am sure it is worth it. Now let’s make that promise and we will fight together. It will be less scarier in the dark when you have a friend, right?

May Allah make it easy on us, sister FH. Jazakillahi khair for visiting my blog. You’re one of my favorite! Much love!

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  1. #1 by rialive on April 10, 2011 - 9:05 am

    @ sister Asma Khan
    Jazakillahi khair, dear. And may i know why you deleted your blog? I tried to visit it several times but it says that it is deleted…

    @ sister Halima

    Wa alaikum salam, dear sister Halima!
    I know exactly what you mean by full of hate muslim forums. Specially when there are ‘shia’ and ‘sunni’ people in the same place and then the words.. I don’t know how people can believe in Hell and say those horrible stuff at the same time. astaghfirullah..

    @ kak Mona
    You’re right, kak. If I can, everybody can!
    Love you too, hugs!

  2. #2 by Mona on April 10, 2011 - 8:47 am

    I know it is very hard for you to do this, darling. May Allah make it easy for you.
    And I now how persistent you could be in holding on to your opinion, too strong 😀
    If you can, everybody can. love you, HUGS!

  3. #3 by Asma Khan on April 10, 2011 - 3:04 am

    Such a nice post… 🙂

  4. #4 by Halima on April 10, 2011 - 2:29 am

    Salamz, Sis! Yet again I have to agree with you! At one time I joined some Islamic forums where people discuss various topics- I thought it would be interesting and informative. But I was soon disappointed when I found it to be mostly alot of arguements and bad adhab/rudeness. I didn’t see how it was a productive use of my time, so I stopped visiting these sites altogether. In fact, not only do I think these sites are not good dawah, I think they are not so good for muslims either- because they create conflict , confusion and fitna.

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