My Precious

Over one a half years ago, I felt like I lost everything. I lost a man that I planned to marry, I was sad not because of he was dead, but because the timing, it was so close to the date and I felt like my dreams was vanished (well, we are woman, a bit dramatic). And friends asking how I feel over and over didn’t make me better. A month after, a huge earthquake hit my city, I lost my business. We got no electricity and water. I have to do the laundry  down to the hard flowing river, and take the clothes back up. And my visible skin (face and hands) got so dark, I felt like a zebra. We slept literally outside the house on a mat because earthquake still came to shock us, and to see half parts of the city were destroyed, we didn’t want to be in the house for too long before the contractors said it was safe. So, yes, I felt like I lost everything. I didn’t have money on my own, beauty, comfort, and exact future plan, also if it can be said ‘love’, I lost a loved one too.

Interesting to remember how I didn’t cry much, pretending to be so stupidly strong and act like I could handle everything. More interesting is at that time, I felt like I lost everything so it was a perfect time for me to really practice the theory “happiness is a choice”, “sadness is merely a concept”. Feeling that I have another thing to fight for, my future and my sanity. Everybody was worried about me, even I heard my mother cried to my father, “I’m afraid Ria will go crazy, this is too hard for her”, and listening to my father’s answer really lift up my self esteem, “I raised her to be strong, she is not a weak woman“. There’s nothing we have is truly ours 😀 I learned it the hard way. But alhamdulillah, at least I still learned something 🙂 Allah has been too kind.

That’s why I am so attached to this lecture, the lesson that I learned from it just beyond amazing. Please do watch,

I quote from this lecture,
The statement of Umar bin Khattab r.a, when were tested we were grateful for 3 things,
1. This trial wasn’t in our deen.
2. This trial is not as great as it could have been
3. that Allah subhana wa taala allowed us to be patient in that trial.

In my place, there is a place where there in un-exposed war between two major religions in our country. Not everybody knows it, but we do. It is hard to be a muslim there, I don’t have to explain, I’m sure you know about Palestine, that’s how it looks like. I don’t think my iman is strong enough if I was to be faced with choices to defend my life or defend my religion, astaghfirullah. And that time, I kept reminding myself, this is not that hard, I can get through this.
Few days after the earthquake, we came to know that there was a man, he had 4 children and all of them died. He only found 2 of their bodies. It makes me sad, to know what happened to him, he is now in mental hospital and I am grateful that what happened to me was not that hard. May Allah make his wife strong and grant him with recovery.
It was hard, but I am grateful that I didn’t put myself into traps that will make everything worse. I am grateful that my family was stronger during that time and really being supportive to each other. Allah subhana wa taala had made it easy for me to be strong, stronger than everybody thought I could be.

This morning, I was reminded by the lecture again. A facebook page shared this story.

Al-Hasan ibn Arafah narrated, “I visited Imâm Ahmad ibn Hanbal after he was whipped and tortured. I said to him, “O Abu Abdillâh, you have reached the station of the Prophets!” He said, “Keep quiet. Verily, I saw nothing more than people selling their Dîn. And I saw scholars that were with me sell their Faith.
So I said to myself, ‘Who am I, what am I. What am I going to say to Allâh tomorrow when I stand in front of Him and He asks me, “Did you sell your Dîn like the others did?” So I looked at the whip and the sword and chose them.

And I said, “If I die I shall return to Allâh and say: ‘I was told to say that one of Your Characteristics was something created but I did not.’ After that, it will be up to Him – either to punish me or forgive me.”

Al-Hasan ibn Arafah then asked, “Did you feel pain when they whipped you?” He said “Yes, I felt the pain up to 20 lashes then I lost all feeling (They whipped him over eighty times). After it was over I felt no pain and that day I prayed Dhuhr standing.”

[In fact he prayed as the blood soiled his clothes.]

Al-Hasan ibn Arafah started weeping when he heard what had happened. Imâm Ahmad questioned him, “Why are you crying? I did not lose my Îman. After that why should I care if I lose my life.”

Goosebumps and waterworks… This is very inspiring

Alhamdulillah wa syukur bini’matillah, I do not lose my iman. May Allah subhana wa taala make it easy for us not to have deep attachment to this world,not to love this world too much because real life is later in Hereafter.

Make dua for me people! Much love!

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  1. #1 by Rahimunnisa on June 5, 2011 - 8:02 pm

    I just read this post of yours. I never knew that you went through soo much. May Allah grant you the strenght (added strenght) to make you firm in the Deen.

    Are you married now? I hope Allah gives what all you desire if it has been decreed as the best for you.

    Always be strong Inshallah.

  2. #2 by mariyam on May 12, 2011 - 5:02 pm

    <3<3<3

  3. #3 by bucketofdreams on May 10, 2011 - 7:57 pm

    May Allah keep you steadfast upon the deen and may He bless you abundantly. Aameen. =) Jazakallahu Khayran for sharing!

    • #4 by rialive on May 11, 2011 - 9:28 am

      Ameen for your dua, and jazakallah khair for visiting…
      Come again 🙂

  4. #5 by rialive on May 2, 2011 - 1:17 pm

    @ sr. Mustika
    Wa alaikum salam, sister. Alhamdulillah, may Allah keep us estiqamah in this beautiful deen ♥

    @ sr. Ayesha
    Wa iyyaki ya ukhti!!
    I really appreciate your sweet words, darling.
    ♥♥♥♥♥

    @ kak Mona
    I admire you,kak.. More ♥

    @ Noni
    Love you more! ♥♥

    @ Auntie
    Amin for your dua, Auntie..
    You can take anything from this blog without asking!
    ALhamdulillah, Allah subhana wa taala had made it easy for me ♥♥♥
    I admire YOU more, and you know that ♥

    @ Ronia
    Wa alaikum salam Ronia
    Alhamdulillah, I could never do that without the guidance of Allah subhana wa taala.

    @ SisterInDeen
    Wa alaikum salam, sister.
    Amin for your dua, and jazakallah for your insights.
    Please keep supporting me =)

  5. #6 by SisterinDeen on April 30, 2011 - 7:26 am

    as others have said before, Masha’Allah you’re truly an amazing sister, may Allah grant you and your loved ones mercy, forgiveness and Jannah and also for the man that would have been your husband.
    i love the Navaid Aziz lecture and i’m glad your sharing it with others as its truly an inspirational lecture Masha’Allah
    the story of imam Ahmad truly shook me and Insha’Allah i want to look into him and the other scholars lives more, for they were literally tortured for their deen, and never saw their hardships as hardships
    so much more to say ( as usual :P), but you will stay in my du’a s Insha’Allah and Jazakhallah khair for yet another inspiring post, that reminds me to keep pushing regardless of your difficulties, for Allah is always with his believers.
    Salam Alaikum to you and all my sisters.

  6. #7 by ronia on April 29, 2011 - 11:23 pm

    Assalam..sr

    May Allah put down your beloved man in his paradise. what you can do is just always make dua for his soul,..yachhh for me… Allah much more better knows about every things of his creation,.. but so proud of you, even the situation was so cruel because of earthquake at that time, but you were still strong enough to face and let that situation run naturally..

  7. #8 by Little Auntie on April 29, 2011 - 1:16 am

    Inna lilahee wa innah ilayhee ra’joun. May Allah make the grave of the man who was to be your husband a garden of paradise and grant him his mercy.

    I was so shocked when I read this post- I had no idea about the tests you went through. You seemed so ‘happy’, I never thought that you had gone through so much. Now I admire you more! May I please post this on our blog later? And link back to you?

    Jazakillah for sharing the lessons from sheikh Navaid’s lecture and the chilling story of Imam ibn Hanbal.

  8. #9 by Noni M on April 28, 2011 - 11:27 pm

    I always know you’re a strong lady.
    love you!

  9. #10 by Mona on April 28, 2011 - 9:45 pm

    I admire you so much hunny..

  10. #11 by Ayesha Haroon on April 28, 2011 - 8:52 pm

    Masha’Allah amazing sister!! 🙂
    You are truly a brave sister!! 😀
    Jazaka’Allah ul Khayr for sharing lecture and lessons!
    Insha’Allah yur in our prayers!!
    *hugs* Much more love ♥♥♥

  11. #12 by mustikasari on April 28, 2011 - 8:07 pm

    salam sister ria.. I know about the earthquake tragedy back in one and half year ago.. Alhamdulillah you’re now in a very good condition of iman. I’ll keep you in my pray sis.
    Salam 🙂

  12. #13 by Moutasem on April 28, 2011 - 7:49 pm

    Masha’allah this is a wonderful peace of writing. May Allah reward you sister Ria for such an amazing and practical lesson

    • #14 by rialive on April 28, 2011 - 8:01 pm

      Amin, Shaikh. May Allah reward you better.
      Jazakallah khair for sparing your time to visit my blog. I truly appreciate it.

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