Patience is . . .

Hi, Ria. Assalaamualaikum..

I watched the video and I understand. Basically patience is actually for human beings t live in peace. But some people, like me, explode easily specially to my husband. We just don’t have it in us.
What do you think? – L

Wa alaikum salam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh..

Hi, L, I actually scheduled a post about admiration tonight 🙂 but reading your comment today on The Mission post, made me smile and I truly feel that I can relate to you. 

I used to explode easily, I just didn’t care and lashed out to everyone that I dislike. I felt exactly like you, some people just don’t have it, patience is like something really far from me. But then, by time, I realize to be angry and to explode are different things. In some cases, angry is just inevitable, but to explode…. that’s a different case 🙂

Let me tell you some scenarios 😀

When you drive a car and suddenly there’s somebody driving so fast and blow his horn unendingly and just slip fast through your car. Will you be angry and scream some awful things? Sure, and you have the reason to 🙂
But when you think… that probably, this man is driving so fast to take her pregnant bleeding wife to the hospital, will you be angry? I don’t think so.

When you were in a restaurant, this lady just put her right leg on your way and you tripped. Will you lash out and scratch her face with your long nails? Hmm, probably 😀
But, when you see her sitting with her other 5 friends, they were eating their steaks, holding their forks and knives, will you be scratching her or say, “It’s alright but please next time be careful and I will also watch my step” ? 🙂 That’s probably will save you from trouble 🙂

When your husband came home, just go straight into his desk and open his laptop, continuing his work, will you be upset? Will you be ignorant and don’t cook him dinner? Well, it’s understandable 😀
But, when you think, that probably he is in the middle of a project that he has to finish soon. Probably because he is THAT busy because he is trying to keep his job and provide for you and your child? Will you still be upset, or make him coffee? 😀

When you are on the queue line to the cashier, and a woman just cut your line and stand in front of you. Will you stab her on the back with the knife you just bought, spend the rest of your lives in jail? Or tell her, “Hey miss, you should stand behind me” 😀

See, dear L… Patience is not at all eliminating anger. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay not to like what people do. But patience is to choose to be graceful and respectable even when we’re emotional. Sometimes, people just act unacceptable, but we don’t have to lower our dignity and act the way they do. Patience is a choice. It’s about making the right move even when we’re so emotional.

Sometimes,when we’re angry, we really have the right to be angry.. but.. nothing can be the justification for us to be rude. Angry and rudeness are different. To be able to do the right thing even when we’re angry… that’s maturity.

And remember, L, “… Allah loves those who have patience.” (3 : 146)

I hope this can help you 🙂 Much love!

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  1. #1 by Little Auntie on May 2, 2011 - 3:29 pm

    ma’shaAllah, an excellent post 🙂

  2. #2 by rialive on May 2, 2011 - 12:52 pm

    @ sr. Mustika
    You’re very welcome, sister 🙂

    @ sr. Jnana
    MashaAllah, you have so much knowledge in psychology, sister. That’s awesome!
    Jazakillah khair for your insights. xx

    @ kak Mona
    Alhamdulillah,happy that you love it, kak 😀

    @ JCK
    We are aggressive everywhere these day, Jessica.
    I hope you will keep reading my posts. Thank you 😀

    @ Tatiana
    No problem, babe 😀

    @ Mike
    Who wouldn’t be? 😀

  3. #3 by Michael A on May 1, 2011 - 9:45 pm

    Man don’t really explode, but surely stupidity irritates me Ree.

  4. #4 by Tatiana on May 1, 2011 - 9:04 pm

    Oh darling, I so need this, thank you for sending me the link.
    I love you like crazy!! Mwah!

  5. #5 by Mona B on May 1, 2011 - 11:23 am

    Counting to ten is good and the hadith, when you stand, go sit. When you sit, go lay down. And when you lay down, take wudhu.

    Love this post, sweetheart:)

  6. #6 by JCK on May 1, 2011 - 2:17 am

    I realized that I became your regular reader, even now we finished the plgyny issue.
    Your post is for everyone to read and the lesson is very nice from the practical point of views.
    This is really provoking for me because we here never afraid to show our aggressiveness.
    Again, very nice post!

  7. #7 by jnana on May 1, 2011 - 12:44 am

    Good post!

    A really important trait to try to instill in yourself is Situational Attribution instead of Dispositional Attribution. This is a study in Social Psychology, where people can choose to blame situations for negative behaviour instead of character. And all the examples you gave are scenarios where the right thing to do was to credit the situation as an explanation for behaviour instead of the person’s character. Most of the times, we judge peoples’ characters when we don’t even know them: when we think about it, how can this one incident tell us about how that person is usually? Of course it can’t!

  8. #8 by mustikasari on April 30, 2011 - 9:39 pm

    very good sister! This post can relate to me much. Thank you!

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