I just can’t believe my eyes. The hysteria of royal wedding is not ended yet, at least on my facebook. We are (I’m not included) investing our time for mysterious benefit by watching and following every details of wedding, two people who don’t even know we exist, and I don’t think they care. But hay, I can see at least 15 of my facebook buddies changing their profile picture into snapshots of them (or her, the bride). Some of the girls (muslim girls), says, the dress is so pretty, they wish they have the dress, or they wish they have wedding like that. Interesting 😀
And people do try to make their wedding as glamorous as it can be. Book the building, the dress, the invitation design, the guest, the cake, the food. Putting their best efforts to that one particular day, and neglecting one thing, the ‘marriage preparation’. The mind and soul education, the education to recognize steps on making sure the fairy tale romance doesn’t end on the wedding day or soon thereafter. Because, in real world, a problem of the future will not be solved by a kiss.
When I said on my posts before, that our concept on love and marriage is highly influenced by fairy tales and our concept of beauty influenced by Barbie’s. I am not joking. It is true.
Depressed princesses, can’t do anything for themselves will be picked up by handsome prince, smart, sparkling hair, clean horse, and shiny sword. He will save the princesses from their depressed lives and one kiss will solve just about everything.
The dolls, perfect body, perfect face, perfect hair, live in a perfect pink house, with perfect cars on the perfect garage, closet full of newest trends, and handsome guy with a ferrari pick them up every night. “Hi, Barbie”… “Hi, Ken”… “Wanna go out tonight?”.. “I always wanna got out, that’s what I live for!” 😆
And the wedding of the century (as so they said), with dresses specially designed by someone, the cake matches the bride’s personality (how so? I really don’t get it, how does a cake match someone’s personality? Cake psychology theory? 😀 ), the ring, the ‘this’ and the ‘that’. All focused of beauty of the wedding, glams of the wedding, and the history of the royal family. I don’t think I can take it anymore. *sigh*
A very long time ago, when women was not even valued more than a sheep, when men can have unlimited numbers of wives and can just send her over to people as gifts along with sheep and camels, there was this marriage. Not the marriage of the decade, not also the marriage of the century, it was the marriage of a lifetime. I’ll tell you all the things that really amazed me personally from the marriage. The marriage of Rasulullah s.a.w and Khadija r.a
First of all, when we study the condition and the culture of that time and the nation, this fact will amaze everyone. At that time man will look for women as young as it can be (virgin collectors) and Rasulullah (saw) at that time was an independent, gainfully employed, and very successful. His efficient excellent business ability and serious work performance will make every parents of any tribes marry her daughters to him. But he (s.a.w) accepted the proposal of Khadija (r.a), a 40 years old widow, also a very successful business woman. This shows how a man should be objective to to find a wives for positive qualities, not only following what the culture told him. And this also stated that it is appropriate for a female seeking marriage, or for her guardian, to approach a qualified candidate regarding marriage, as long as this is done in a decent, proper way (in this case, Khadija r.a approached Rasulullah s.a.w for marriage through her friend, Nafeesah).
Other interesting point that carved to my mind about this outstanding marriage was, the scale of loyalty from a man to his wife. People used to define loyalty as just the lack of cheating, or lack of having extra-marital relations. Loyalty is an ongoing positive attitude which can be expressed in many actions, words or gestures. Rasulullah (s.a.w) remained loyal to Khadija (r.a) to the end of his life, long after her death. Ayesha (r.a) used to say that she was not jealous of any woman more than Khadija (r.a), although Khadija (r.a) was already dead, because the Rasulullah (s.a.w) always had the best memories of her. Rasulullah (s.a.w) also had a special kind of positive feeling towards anyone Khadija (r.a) used to like when she was still alive. — awwwww, this is so sweet ♥ —
Next point is about the woman’s loyalty to her husband. How a wife should realize that her loyalty will give huge positive impact to the man she marries. When Rasulullah (s.a.w) received second revelation, which woke him from his sleep, breathing heavily and sweating profusely, Khadija (r.a) approached him gently to go back to bed and have some sleep and rest. His answer was:
“O Khadija, the time for sleep and rest is over. Jibril has commanded me to warn the people and call them to Allah and His worship. Whom should I call? And who is going to respond to me?”
Khadijah comforted him and anxiously declared her Islam and her acceptance of the prophethood of her husband. From then on, it was like a da’wa team, striving together in the cause of Allah.
The last point is about trust. This is really giving me goosebumps when I first know it.
Rasulullaah (s.a.w) used to spend many consecutive nights in the cave, and Khadija (r.a) will tell her servants to bring him food, place the food outside, and never disturb Rasulullah (s.a.w) on his deepful personal moments. One day, when Rasulullah (s.a.w) received first verses of the Qur’an, he (s.a.w) went home in fear. He told Khadija (r.a): “Cover me in a blanket, cover me in a blanket!” She did as she was told and after a while, this fear gradually subsided in Rasulullah (s.a.w). Thereafter, Rasulullaah (s.a.w) narrated what happened to his wife Khadija (r.a), and he said: “I feared for my life.” Then she (r.a) gave Rasulullah (s.a.w) courage and consoled him, saying:
“Never, I take an oath in Allah, Allah Ta`ala will never place you in difficulty or disgrace you. (You have such great qualities and traits, that) You strengthen family ties, you take the burden of others, help the poor, serve the guests, and you assist the truth at the times of difficulty.”
What would women of this era will do when they have this experience? To find their husbands (I’m single so I’m out of the subject 😀 yeehaw!) came home shaking after experiencing a calamity.. H (husband), W (wife)..
H : “Cover me! Cover me!”
W: Why? What happened?
H : “I’ll tell you later, now please cover me!”
W : “No way! I will not cover you until you tell me what’s going on!” (now he had two calamities)
H : (cover himself with blankets and still shaking)
W : “You sleep? You can’t sleep before telling me everything! Or I will not cook you dinner!” (3 calamities!!)
H : (shaking and imagining that he will be hungry the whole night)
W : “You still don’t tell me? That’s it! You sleep on the couch tonight!” (4 calamities!!)
And we can also see, how a strong woman who was not getting hysterical when her husband is in fear, in fact, it’s her that make him strong to face everything. Remember, this happened when there was this huge gape between men and women, when women were treated like animals. Such an amazing marriage that was. A lifetime example by great personalities.
Focusing too much on the wedding day or fixing our qualities from time to time so the marriage that we will be having (or are having) be blessed, which is more important? May Allah subhana wa taala guide us all. Much love! ♥