Sometimes, there are times when the road feels empty. Have you ever felt like that, walking too fast, alone, spreading optimism and smile but inside we feel so dry? I have, many times, last time was… two days ago.. 😥 I am too busy these days, I don’t have enough time to spend with my friends, real life and online, I don’t have time to blog and blog-walking, I don’t have the time to read books peacefully (always in a hurry), it’s just so stressful.
Being involved in da’wah, and making a promise that I will not take any worldly reward for it, can sometimes be so tiring. Firstly, because many will ask for your time but since they don’t pay, they think our time is not very valuable (What can we do? Everywhere, everything is measured by money, even in the field of da’wah). Secondly, it is human nature when we are less optimist and excited when we don’t see any visible result of what we do.
So, yesterday, I was waiting for the dentist to open, tiredly walking on a book store. I didn’t plan to buy anything, I was just looking around, my head was empty, seriously I felt so tired physically and mentally. Out of nowhere, there was this thought on my head, why I should do all this? These people don’t care about you, they only want to make their events successful. Now that you’re tired, who cares? Is there any text asking how are you today? People only want you to be happy and energic, FOR THEM!
SubhanAllah, dramatic isn’t? 😀 Well, I made promise that I will try to press down any desire to complain and ramble. It’s just sound and makes me look stupid and it will slowly block my ability to be grateful for what I have. But that’s what happened. I was too tired.
Still looking around, I then saw a book without plastic wrap, then I just randomly opened it, and my eyes stumbled to the quote, from a verse of Qur’an,
“… Allah is the best to take care of, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy!” [Yusuf : 64]
That’s how the author quoted the verse, she cut the verse in two and put the last half into her book..
Have you ever felt that goosebumps when you found something in Qur’an that really talks to you? Your eyes felt hot, your knees felt weak, felt like you don’t have enough calories to make your grip hold something? The feeling is .. priceless.. 😥 (I didn’t cry at the bookstore, I swear! 😀 -)
Alhamdulillah, Allah subhana wa taala did not let me drown into my negative thoughts for long, only for few minutes. I am so grateful.. Alhamdulillah.. ♥