Archive for category Upclose & Personal
Living early marriage life is really challenging. Of course, this has a lot to do with us comparing ‘carefree’ single life with ‘full of responsibility’ marriage life. I’m not saying that being single is being irresponsible, but you all know what I mean 🙂
The most challenging issue that I am having is living in a rented house. Not just random rented house, but this particular house that we are renting. It only has one bedroom, a small bedroom, VERY small bedroom, okay, it explains everything, right? 🙂 But alhamdulillah we still can live in a house with a bedroom. I have a friend who rent a room after marriage, no kitchen, no everything, just one plain room. I also found out that there is no more place available to rent around my husband’s workplace. This house is only 2 minutes away, so that’s why he insisted to live here because I am pregnant, and it’s very easy for him to come home among his office hours to look after me. Sweet, isn’t?
So, two months ago, there was a house for sale. We were so interested. So we counted, and there is no way we can afford the house without taking a loan from a bank. Yes, the only option was taking a mortgage that will last for 15 years. We have sharia bank here, as the solution to stay away from riba. But it gets me thinking, riba or not, do we really want to be in debt for the next 15 years of our lives? How many couples have you known being so unhappy on their early years because of debt? Me, personally, know A LOT!! So, we decided not to take it. I was a bit sad, but I kept it for myself.
I want the house and as usual, I have to get what I want. That specific house, is still near my husband’s office, and it is placed in the town center. The house is not built yet, so the design is changeable. We couldn’t afford it but it is relatively cheap for an offer like that. So, what to do?
Allah is Rich. So I asked Allah for the house. I know that if Allah wants the house to be ours He will send us solutions from doors we never expected. Also, I calculate the amount of sadaqah I have to make to be able to buy the house. The sadaqah we make will be rewarded 700 times. So, just divide the cost of the house to 700 to be the smallest amount of sadaqah you make. Simple isn’t?
And finally, alhamdulillah, Allah give me the house 🙂 We modified the design, and we paid the down payment. The rest inshaAllah will be paid after the house is 100% ready, probably on November or December. And on January my rent is over so it feels like destiny, subhanAllah.
Life is simple, right? 😉
Alhamdulillah, my Ramadhan was great, and my Eid was crowded. I felt like I wanted to talk all about my Ramadhan and Eid experience but I have one urgent issue to ramble about 😀 Rejecting marriage proposals — hooooo —. This is a serious issue that some women loves to brag about, you know, how popular and pretty they are by the authentic proof of so many proposals they are considering and rejecting — yah, I know some of them 😀 — I have some reflection that I wanted to share later but let me shout this out to the world : SOME GUYS ARE STOOPID!! — *sigh* finally I said it —
So, I rejected another 2 proposals during last Ramadhan. And I don’t know, these two guys seemed to conspire against me! They both have the same nickname for me : extremist — hahaha — Since it’s been a while for me not to write, I think I will let my words just flow. One of the guys, has this perfect chocolate milk skin, he’s very handsome — I did try to lower my gaze but what can I do… At some seconds I did see him, okay… Maybe minutes — And another one knows how to buy perfume and shoes. Those are the positive part of the story and definitely were not the reasons of me rejecting them. Here you go.
1. The handsome choco milk guy’s family asked for dowry.
So, the guy is not as religious as I was expected, but not bad, he is trying to be better — or so how the people around him said —. Plus, he does not smoke — so hard to find one here, subhanAllah — So, he asked me what my dowry is 😀 Me, seriously I don’t need a man to afford me, I can afford myself. I don’t need another man to protect me, I have 3 brothers to do that. So, I told him what the dowry was and since it was so easy he was happy. But then… his family asked (to be exact, insisted) for dowry from me, at least USD $10,000. — clearing throat —
I was like….. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
The reason was, this man is highly educated, his family invested a lot on his education so they think it will be such a waste if the rest of his life will be spent for a girl. The girl will just enjoy the effort, so she needs to pay for the good future ahead. Not that I couldn’t afford it, don’t get me wrong, but haaaaay… that is just so wrong in many level. So, they think he will not be as lucky to have ME? Huh?! So, no thank you very much.
2. The guy with nice perfume and great shoes… smokes cigarettes like Hogwarts School of Wizard Train.
Smoking is haram. No more explanation on why I hate it.
And when azan comes, he just sat there and blew smoke. The masjid is only 3 minutes walk. And he just sat there… Probably waiting for the imam calls him by name and scream, “We will not start the salah without you!!”
And they both called me extremist for not willing to negotiate with the culture and civilization. Apparently, now, it is okay for girls giving dowry to men since she will get so much in return after marriage. And apparently, smoking is the sign of masculinity — this kind of man needs to meet some gays that smokes —, and salah needs not to be done on time, we can do it within times, we can delay…
I’ve been rejecting proposals, but these were I think most annoying ones because they are trying to convince me that my consideration is wrong!! They were insulting my intelligence!! Seriously?! My intelligence?! And this guy keeps messaging me to my Blackberry of wise advice on why smoking is allowed in Islam because we need to adapt, we need to embrace the speed of civilization. Okay, deleted from contacts, alhamdulillah..
My teacher once told me, I do not need to lower my standard, I only need to increase my quality to be worthy of the kind of man. And the fact that one died, one stucked on his place for political reasons, and one needed to make his parents happy by marrying his cousin 😆 My time had not come yet, don’t push it… I believe her, I do ♥
Okay enough ramblings for tonight, they can call me extremist, whatever…
InshaAllah next time I will wear my responsible adult costume and write another post. Much love! ♥
Sometimes, there are times when the road feels empty. Have you ever felt like that, walking too fast, alone, spreading optimism and smile but inside we feel so dry? I have, many times, last time was… two days ago.. 😥 I am too busy these days, I don’t have enough time to spend with my friends, real life and online, I don’t have time to blog and blog-walking, I don’t have the time to read books peacefully (always in a hurry), it’s just so stressful.
Being involved in da’wah, and making a promise that I will not take any worldly reward for it, can sometimes be so tiring. Firstly, because many will ask for your time but since they don’t pay, they think our time is not very valuable (What can we do? Everywhere, everything is measured by money, even in the field of da’wah). Secondly, it is human nature when we are less optimist and excited when we don’t see any visible result of what we do.
So, yesterday, I was waiting for the dentist to open, tiredly walking on a book store. I didn’t plan to buy anything, I was just looking around, my head was empty, seriously I felt so tired physically and mentally. Out of nowhere, there was this thought on my head, why I should do all this? These people don’t care about you, they only want to make their events successful. Now that you’re tired, who cares? Is there any text asking how are you today? People only want you to be happy and energic, FOR THEM!
SubhanAllah, dramatic isn’t? 😀 Well, I made promise that I will try to press down any desire to complain and ramble. It’s just sound and makes me look stupid and it will slowly block my ability to be grateful for what I have. But that’s what happened. I was too tired.
Still looking around, I then saw a book without plastic wrap, then I just randomly opened it, and my eyes stumbled to the quote, from a verse of Qur’an,
“… Allah is the best to take care of, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy!” [Yusuf : 64]
That’s how the author quoted the verse, she cut the verse in two and put the last half into her book..
Have you ever felt that goosebumps when you found something in Qur’an that really talks to you? Your eyes felt hot, your knees felt weak, felt like you don’t have enough calories to make your grip hold something? The feeling is .. priceless.. 😥 (I didn’t cry at the bookstore, I swear! 😀 -)
Alhamdulillah, Allah subhana wa taala did not let me drown into my negative thoughts for long, only for few minutes. I am so grateful.. Alhamdulillah.. ♥
Alhamdulillah, few weeks ago, I had the chance to visit several countries in South East Asia. I had so much fun, and mostly spent quality time with myself. I think I got much more wiser after the vacation 😀
So, this post is for the lovely sweet sister Silla. I spent few days in Malaysia, her country. ♥
Mostly, Malaysia is a great experience. I love my country, and I understand the ‘ego war’ happened between mine and hers, but not every Malaysians underestimate Indonesians. It’s not exactly like what happened in internet where people from both countries cursed each other. Most Malaysians that I met in their country are fine and honestly… very loveable.
I will not touch the ‘culture claiming’ fight between our country because I think it’s a little stupid. So what if some of the Indonesian dances, traditional food and songs were claimed to be Malaysians? I don’t see many Indonesians respect their own culture so why bother? 😀 Well, I was firstly a little annoyed when I saw that some food were told as originally from Malaysia 😳 but then I thought, our countries have the same roots, so it is very possible for us to have many similar cultures, right? 😀
So, what I like most about Malaysia is their traffic and foods. Well, not as clean as Singapore and well organized as Japan, but compare to Indonesia, it is much much better. You know, in my place, policeman is everywhere, but the streets are still so messed up. But in Malaysia, I didn’t see any policeman in the streets but pedestrians are so safe because CCTVs are everywhere. GREAT! I like how the taxi driver really helped a lot. The food is also relatively acceptable for my West Sumatran tongue, we love spices and complicated foods. Besides, we can easily find Padang Restaurant. Ah yes, I got a business opportunity with a restaurant, supplying a specific fish you can only find in my place, biiznillahi taala.. So, please make dua, everyone. 😀
And the people! MashaAllah, the people! When we asked them directions on how to get to anywhere, they will give me the easiest explanations, and even some of them really took me there. The security officers on every buildings, I think they can read minds 😀 when they saw me confused, they would come at me and ask how they could help me.. Ehm, I don’t find it here in my place. I took some pictures of me with a security officer, he was very kind. I didn’t know how to take pictures of Petronas and he showed me the spot, alhamdulillah..
As I said in previous post, I didn’t really go shopping, but I did buy 2 hijabs and 3 handbags, here they are,
Too bad I couldn’t meet my friends there, next time, inshaAllah 🙂 Love you, sister Silla!!
Ramadhan is near, alhamdulillah!! Everybody is going to be excited, everybody is going to goto the mosque, everybody is going to recite Qur’an, even in public transport… I missed it a lot! And unlike other months, money is very easy to get in Ramadhan. Everything is business opportunities, mashaAllah 😀
Unlike years before, I decided not take this opportunity to make more money. Well, I’ve been reducing the amount of orders for Eid cookies and cakes, but last year, I still make lots of brownies and cookies for people. The orders usually came one or two months before Ramadhan. And the whole hysteria began 😀 Also the money.. mashaAllah, you can let yourself to be lazy for over 6 months, the money is not bad at all 😀 But the most busy days will be on the last 10 days, and it’s not worth it 🙂 So, inshaAllah, if anyone wants the recipe, I will give them. But no more taking orders 😀
So, bye bye Ramadhan business. I will still make cakes and cookies for Eid, but only for family. It’s money out.. not in 😆 Alhamdulillah, I am not in financial difficulties, and inshaAllah I will focus on my ibaada this year. Make dua, people 😀